You'll be amazed how simple these tips on how to get over a breakup are—yet how effective!
Out of Sight, Out of Mind
Avoiding your ex in the physical sense may not be so difficult. But your goal is to completely remove them from your field of vision, and today, it is quite a challenge. You can use different loopholes like peeking at their social media or re-reading your chats. This is why one of the things to do after a breakup is to remove your ex from all social media you're on. By doing so, you will avoid trying to guess, for example, who they are having drinks with in the photos they're sharing.
Moreover, you'll prevent yourself from posting anything in hopes that your ex will see it. You won't be able to check whether they've seen your post, either. Without an ulterior motive, you'll post more content unrelated to your breakup, and your ex will gradually fade into the background.
If you have mutual friends, do not discuss anything that you wouldn't want your ex to know about with them. It's also a good idea to clear your chats to save you the trouble of re-reading them and wallowing in bittersweet memories.
Know Your Value
A relationship failure often comes with a reappraisal of values. Unfortunately, one of these values can be your own worth. A loss of self-esteem happens for an obvious reason: you have gotten used to being part of a bigger, more complex whole, and now you're on your own. You are in a state where you're made to think about how to get over a long-term relationship. It's time to remember how you felt about your personality before you met your ex. What were you proud of? What individual hobbies did you have? Try to remember those—or pick up something new. You can take on an exciting project at work—and give it slightly more time than you would if you were still in a relationship. Or you can attend new social events and be open to new experiences and connections. You need to learn how to feel good about yourself, to enjoy the moment because you really enjoy it—and not because of your partner. By adopting this skill, you'll develop a solid self-worth that comes from within. It will no longer depend on your ex—or anybody except you. And it will stay with you no matter what challenges you face.
Handle Your Grief - Your Reactions are Normal
Your breakup might not be a loss exactly. Still, you have lost a significant part of your life—your companion, support, plans, hopes, etc.—and you have the right to grieve it. Be compassionate with yourself: separating from your ex has hurt you, and you need strength to get through.
If you don't know how to cope with breaking up with someone you love, please remember: breakup is an unknown terrain. You are not supposed to find your bearings immediately. You need time to establish new routines, realize how to deal with mutual friends and relations, how to change your home—and adopt the new you. You're exploring your life all over again, and you'll discover the right way to live. Just allow yourself to grieve because it is essential to healing.
Things Will Get Better
'Time heals' is a cheesy proverb that is, in fact, very true. In the beginning, there is a feeling of hopelessness. The world seems bleak, but weeks will pass, and you will notice some color slowly reappearing. You'll feel less raw, less focused on the tragedy, and more occupied with daily chores. Your pain will gradually ebb. Unfortunately, it won't happen overnight. In this respect, the best way to get over a breakup is to wait it out. Don't kick yourself if your post-breakup state lingers a bit longer than you would like it to. Psychologists say that the length of it depends on your individuality, so don't compare your experience to your friends'.
Use Your Time Wisely
So, we've just established that a good answer to the question of what to do after a breakup is to wait. But, it's impossible to just wait, and you might want to do something more useful with your time.
The activity you should start with is creating new memories. You've established routines and traditions and found 'your' places, but what good will it be if you keep revisiting them and stirring up sad memories? Wouldn't it be better to form new, joyful ones? Find a different coffee shop, change your hair, go to work via a different route—and you'll see how much fuller your life will gradually become.
Another idea of how to deal with a breakup involves immersing yourself in studies. Even if your student years are long over and the only course you can take is online, mastering a new skill will shift your focus from the heartbreak. If you feel lonely on a Friday night, you can watch a lecture or two and complete a practical assignment. Plus, you'll receive feedback from your course curator, which will work wonders with your self-esteem, we promise!
This piece of breakup advice may seem daunting. Learning to travel alone can be hard, especially if you have gone on multiple successful trips together. But the trick is to plan the solo adventure—not the whole journey from start to finish, but rather the idea of spending time alone. After all, you can finally do what you've always wanted but your ex never agreed to. And if you really enjoy them… well, that may be another proof of why your ex was a less-than-perfect match for you.
One more excellent way of how to get over a breakup and REALLY take your mind off anything related to your ex is helping others. Volunteering is a fulfilling activity that will give you a sense of purpose. It can help you connect with peers, find new friends, feel a sense of belonging, and forget about loneliness. Helping people can also make you see things in perspective and realize that, compared to many others, you are in a good place.